THE WORLD FAMOUS - LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION~~NOT AVAILABLE ANYWHERE ELSE:
Clean, wholesome, hilarious entertainment for all of your parties, year round.
Make your party audience ROLL with laughter using the highly advertised LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION.
Just what are THE LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION? They are seven, extremely hilarious and clean entertainment letters that you can read at any of your parties, banquets, or meetings. Your audience will ROLL WITH LAUGHTER. We must warn you, some may even SPLIT THEIR BRITCHES laughing so much.
These humorous and wholesome letters can be read with any age group and year round. They are even funnier when you insert a member of your family, employment, management, or others in the letters. Just make sure they are in the audience and know nothing of this.
Listed below are what you will receive with THE LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION and a couple examples of each.
{1} ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM CHURCH BULLETINS. {15 of these}
{a} At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be: "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
{b}This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
{2} GRANDMA'S LETTER. {Grandma and Grandpa moved to Hollywood from the mountains of western North Carolina. Boy, are they behind times.These are part of her letter to their children in North Carolina
{a} Pete was taking the cows to water and when they went across the bridge, one fell through and strained her milk. Now she has hiccups once a week and churns her own butter.
{b}Everytime Bill gets sick he starts feeling bad. The doctor gave him some medicine and said if he got better it might help him, and if he didn't get any worse he would stay about the same.
{3} WACKY, BUT TRUE AUTO CLAIMS SUBMITTED TO INSURANCE COMPANIES. {16 of these}
{a} Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I do not have.
{b}I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
{4} NEW COMPANY RULES. {Here's a couple}
{a} SICKNESS: No excuse! We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
{b} DEATH: {Your own} This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a two weeks notice as we believe it is your duty to train someone else to do your job.
{5} EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY SCHOOL TEACHERS FROM THE STUDENTS' PARENTS. {22 of these}
{a} Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
{b} Please excuse Ray from school Friday. He has very loose vowels.
{6} THE B.C. PROBLEM.
A newly married couple rented a home in the mountains of North Carolina. The young wife discovered the home did not have a bathroom commode. The wife wrote the landlord, but being ashamed to write bathroom commode, she used the letters B.C. Here is where the fun begins when the landlord writes his letter to her, thinking B.C. meant Baptist Church.
{7} HUMOR ON THE SLOPES. {When you stop on the slopes for a "potty break", be sure you know how to position your ski's.
We know you are going to love these CRAZY entertainment letters. If for any reason you are not completely delighted with them, you may return them, within 30 days, in their original condition for a full refund, less the postage and handling.
To receive your copies of THE LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION please send your check or money order for only $9.95 plus $2.00 for postage and handling, {total $11.95} to:
R. Joseph Lawrence
JITA DIMENSIONS
4930 Blue Water Circle
Lake Granbury, Texas 76049-1751
Please note: DO NOT MAKES CHECKS OR M.O'S TO LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION.
These will be mailed approximately 2 days after your payment is received.
Testimonials will be appreciated for future advertising.
We used the Looney Letters at our management Christmas party. We used the New Company Rules on our president. We thought we might have to call an ambulance because he laughted so much. R. Sanchez N.M.
Last Christmas, our church used the BC Problem at our party. We had over 300 nearly crying from laughter. Great entertainment. S. Caldwell Mn.
I was in charge of entertainment for the retirement party of a high executive of our company. I was a nervous wreck trying to come up with entertainment. We used several of the Looney Letters Collection. Our audience could not get enough. Thank you for this tool to make them laugh. J. Miller FL.
Super form of entertainment. Our insurance company used the "auto claims letter." for our Valentine party. We will use these letters again for our Thanksgiving party. T. Sellers TX.
Our hospital Christmas party was a big success using the Looney letters collection. I was put in charge of entertainment for the New Year's Party. H. Tidwell AR.
I have never seen anything so funny and clean as these looney letters. I can't wait to use them at our next family party. W. Rogers NC.
The senior pilots of our airline used these hilarious Looney Letters at our summer family picnic. Since many of the wives were school teachers, we used the "Excuses sent to school teachers" The total audience was about 400. They were begging for more. I highly recommend these Looney Letters for any kind of entertainment. P. Wheeler NY
These are just a few. There are many more.
PLEASE NOTE: Overseas orders must add $1.00 to above total.
Thank you.
P.S. REMEMBER!!! ORDER TODAY! You'll be "Great Demand For Entertainment."Other Places to go:
